the pigbear

although we've never met, i have been an avid reader of my friend ak's buddie's blog, entitled princess pigbear. the "pigbear" made it as the new face of baby gap after a nationwide casting call! my mom came up in the wake of the vt tragedy just to get my mind off of things. after lunch out, we went to the mall in roanoke (valley view mall) for some shopping therapy. on our way to ann taylor loft, we passed baby gap and a HUGE poster of adorable sarah! i screamed (literally!) in the mall and told my mom "I'VE GOT TO TAKE A PICTURE! THAT'S THE PIGBEAR! I'VE GOT TO TAKE A PICTURE!" after watching my elated smile at this enormous poster of a complete stranger, i finally explained to my mom that erin (& sarah!) were two beautiful people i loved to follow via the blogging world. so erin and sarah, this is for you!

in the light of a horrible tragedy, this beautiful creation known as sarah brought a smile to my face and joy to my heart. praise God for simple joys!

(sorry about the poor photo quality. not that i'm a master photographer (like erin herself!), but i couldn't avoid the glare of the skylights on the poster. glare or no glare, you can't take away the beauty in sweet lil sarah!)

4.16.07

i purposely waited a while to post on my blog for a few reasons. first, my eyes were glued to the television and not the computer for the duration of last week. secondly, i found it hard to come up with words to explain the loss i was feeling. how do you express such sorrow in anything but tears? third, blogging is something i enjoy and i found it hard to conjure up the courage to begin to express my feelings to the world. but here i am now, a little over a week later, ready to spill. so here we go...

first, i must say that i hate the title i see all over the tv: "massacre at virginia tech." i hate the media surrounding us everywhere. hate is a strong word and i can say, without a doubt, that i hate this feeling. i am heartbroken, grief-stricken and at a loss for words as to how much this hurts. everyone copes with their grief in different ways. some chose to get away and go home for a few days while others, like myself, chose to stay here in blacksburg. for me, i had to be around this place-- a campus filled with satellites like dandelions, the electric-yellow caution tape, the tears of lost loves all-around and the comfort of complete strangers, whose only tie was the common thread of Hokie pride. constantly seeing the scene play out on campus helped me to begin to feel the reality and finality of such a "massacre." it sounds cliche, but the notion is true: we are a Hokie family, tried and true.

monday i tried to get my life back to normal. i went back to fallon park to spend the day with my fifth graders, beginning the last week of my student teaching internship. the kids were like a breath of fresh air-- offering hugs and simple joys without one question of, "did you know anyone?" or "are you upset, miss renfrow?" these kids, who have the least of any children i know, understand the value of a gentle touch and a kind word. i praise God for their presence in my life-- each and every one of them is genuinely special.

how do i end this post? how do we resolve to start anew, without forgetting the tragedy but at the same time recovering and beginning the healing process? my answer has been, and will forever be, prayer. God is gracious. and He is bigger than this. my source of peace and hope comes from the Lord and i pray that this awful occurance may bring me, and everyone affected, closer to our amazing, loving Lord. God is good- all the time. :)

sidenote: a photographer for the virginian-pilot newspaper, stephen katz, snapped these photos of me and sent them to me via email. his email is as follows:

Sorry for the delay guys, today is my first day back after being in Blacksburg. I just wanted to thank you again for being willing to let me make your photograph. I am so sorry you all had to put up with such an overwhelming barrage of press. The Tech students shined brightly under the lights of the media. You are quite an amazing student body.
Thank you again and I pray things will continue to get better for all of you.
- Stephen

i share these photos only to convey my pain and passion for the Lord. may these few pictures be a witness to the hope i have in our Father.

wyatt at 11 months

can you believe it?! the big guy is almost a year old! it's hard to believe that little bundle of joy we welcomed into the world on may 12, 2006 has grown into a handsome, sippy-cup drinking baby! i took some shots of wyatt at dinner the other night while home for spring break. although most of the pictures are the same pose, i'm going to post them all & share all of wyatt's sweet expressions! there are also two videos you can click on to see him actually sipping out of a tupperware container that we gave him to play with. the lil wyatt is movin' on up!

and now for the videos...
click on the link and it should take you to the videos.
(should is the operative word here!)

video one

video two

dismal swamp stomp

me & andrea, after finishing and receiving our medals

on saturday, i ran the inaugural dismal swamp stomp 1/2 marathon. it was so much fun! i must say, it wasn't nearly as fun as the rock n' roll marathon courses but it was amazing to run with my family. of course, i left my ipod at home and didn't have any music to run with. :( on top of that, the weather wasn't really in our favor, with temps only 40 degrees and rain on and off throughout the race. i really thought i would not be having a happy run going into the race. however! it was such a blessing that it wasn't the hot, humid temperatures we normally get in the 757 region. the rain was enough to cool me down and actually turned out to be favorable conditions until it really started to pour the last two-three miles of the race. i finished in a time of 2 hours, 5 minutes-- 16 minutes faster than my rock n' roll 1/2 marathon! my time placed me 12th in my age class, another result i'm really proud to share. :) i finished with my sister-in-law's sister, andrea, racing each other the last mile to the finish line. jason, her hubby, finished in 1 hour, 54 minutes and my brother finished his very first 1/2 marathon in 2 hours, 28 minutes! everyone did such a GREAT job and had an awesome time running together. check out the results here!

andrea & jason

matt, post his first race!

note: taking pictures immediately after you cross the finish line isn't the best idea!
(matt was just a little tired, can you tell?!)

mom, ali & wyatt came to see us finish! unfortunately, they didn't get there in time to see jason, me and andrea finish. however, wyatt got to see his daddy come across the finish line of his first race! :) yay!


the big guy can now drink out of big-kid bottles!
he's growing up so much!


the cold temps & rain really got to all of us, especially andrea!


refueling & rehydrating after the race


look this way, wyatt!


our first brother/sister race
and we were both in pain afterwards :o)


the gang, post-race
obviously we were all feeling great & looking at the camera simultaneously:)

spring break at home

*clip art used with permission from www.discoveryschool.com

finally, i get a week away from the insanity that has been 2007 thus far. a week away from teaching urban 5th graders (as much as i love them) & all of their issues. a week away from the rigors of 14 hour days, unintentionally neglecting my john & my emmy. and finally, a week away from my RCP! for those of you that don't know, the rcp [reflective comprehensive portfolio] is the project equivalent of a master's thesis at virginia tech. i can't believe it, and cringe to say it afraid of jinxing (what an odd word to spell?) something, but i am DONE with that stinker! i forced myself to spend 16 hour days working straight to finish it before i came home. what a relief!

even though i've been home since monday afternoon, i have yet to unpack/semi-organize ANYTHING. i just had to snap a few shots of my room tonight before actually picking up and packing up to head back to school. these pictures are proof of how lazy i have been! poor emmy, she gets lost amongst all my junk!

where do i begin?!

and check out my dresser! sadly, those easter baskets are already empty.
such a yummy easter bunny this year. :)

home is amazing. call me cliche, but it really is where my heart rests at peace. i have yet to learn to sleep more than six hours, however my mind is calm and my spirit so revived just being at home. i love this place. the presence of family in our daily life is something i take for granted; not having my family at school is a test of my perseverance and a representation of the incredible love we share.

oh! how could i forget! i got a little belated birthday dinner with my lifelong, childhood friends on wednesday night. we went to cheesecake factory for dinner and drinks, with priceless conversation throughout. these girls have been with me since elementary school & are the epitome of "best" friends! :)

left to right: adrienne, dana, me and jess.
cyndie: we missed you! hope you got all the wedding decorating completed! :o)

i know this post is all over the place-- i've been lazy and haven't touched my computer for anything but email since i came home! i'll be uploading more pictures in the next few days however. matt, alison & wyatt are coming to visit along with andrea (ali's sister) & her husband, jason. jason, matt, andrea & myself are all running the dismal swamp stomp half-marathon on saturday. this is matt, jason and andrea's first half-marathon so i'm really stoked to share it with them. it looks like we'll be running in a yucky noreaster, so stay tuned for fun pics! :)

after spending some quality time with the Lord tonight, I decided to write a few words on...

grace

superior manifestation

a beautiful song
strong melodies
with chords of compassion and healing

unmerited favor

a reginerative hope and spirit
weekly, daily, hourly,
endlessly

an allowance of mercy
unfathomable

it's beauty
cannot be contained
for it is endless in shape and form

a power unlike any other
His will shaping
things i cannot touch


it is
grace
essence of the everlasting one
our Lord

You are so good to me. Your grace heals my broken heart. You are so beautiful, Lord. Your grace is humbling and breathtaking. how amazing it is to call you my Father. i praise You for such endless love and grace. You are beautiful and i praise you. thank you for Your grace, Father. amen.

growing up

mom & dad went down to see matt, ali & wyatt last weekend. sadly, i was still busy working on my thesis project at school and couldn't make it down to raleigh. however, mom sent me these sweet pictures that she snapped of the lil wyatt, when he wasn't rolling and moving around. the little guy is getting bigger everyday! he will be a whole one-year-old in may and we are all so excited for his first birthday. it's been so fun to watch wyatt grow and develop the past year. it's been just a taste of the wonderful life the Lord has in store for wyatt daniel! :)

i think this shot was taken in the morning, after wyatt had just woken up. how cute is that bedhead?! OH! i also have to point out the adorable ducky quilt in the photo that mom made- just one of many she's been working on! we keep telling her she needs to go into the quilting/smocking business. her craftmanship is impeccable! :)

look at how much older he looks! i can hardly believe how big he's getting!

23

Left-Right: Kristie, Abby, Melissa, Laura, Me, Paige and Janet

wow. i cannot believe it. i am actually 23 years old today! 21 was fun, 22 still seemed young but 23 enters me into a whole new realm of life. i do believe 23 is actually inching closer and closer to the stage of life we refer to as the "mid-twenties." this period is almost like initiation into being a big kid, into that stage of life where you don't want people to know you age so you term the decade. yikes!

so my day was really nothing special. it was filled with 5th graders and teachers, like normal. my 5th graders didn't know it was my birthday, but my wonderful mommy (a teacher!) was the one who sang me "happy birthday!" and made me feel so special. even though we're 300 miles apart, she and my daddy are still the ones i love to hear from the most. i wish you two were here to celebrate with me-- i love you more than anything and missed you so much!

my incredible friends are my lifeline. they have kept my head above water the past five years of teacher-prep at vt and this year is no exception. these girls are incredile: hardworking, trustworthy and the kind of friend everyone dreams of having. i'm so lucky to know all of you and thank you SO MUCH for celebrating with me today. love you girls! :)

Left to Right: Meredith, Kristie, Me, Paige, AK, Laura, Abby, Melissa & Janet